Why cultural habits could backfire on kids (and what to do)
Most of us enjoy late dinners, long evenings with the family, with kids bouncing around and music in the backgroud.. it’s all very cozy. It smells of pasta, laughter, and real life.
But if you’re raising a baby or a toddler — and secretly hoping for a restful night of sleep — those culturally lovely habits might be a bit too… vivace.
And this is not just an Italian story. Many cultures, especially in the South (Europe or America), have rich evening traditions: extended meals, loud conversations, bright lights, and unpredictable rhythms. They’re wonderful for adults who crave connection after a long day.
But tiny humans live in a completely different time zone: the biology time zone.
Their brains and bodies don’t shift based on culture, or convenience, or how late dinner is served. They follow hormonal cycles, sleep pressure, and circadian rhythms — regardless of where they live or how many people are still drinking wine at 9:30pm.
Babies don’t “adjust” — they learn to cope
One of the biggest misunderstandings in parenting is assuming babies will “get used to it.”
Adults usually get used to things. We adjust, push our limits, we mask fatigue and drink a third coffee.
But babies don’t adapt so quickly — they learn to cope.
And coping is a very different neurological process. It means the brain is trying to maintain stability in an environment it finds unpredictable or misaligned with its biological needs.
Coping shows up as wired behaviour, emotional outbursts, clinginess, constant movement, difficulty settling, and meltdowns over socks. Not because the child is “high energy,” or has “low sleep needs” but because their nervous system is holding itself together with duct tape.
Parents often misinterpret this as, “they’re fine, still awake and full of energy, not tired yet,” when in reality, this chaotic energy is a physiological response to overtiredness due to a cortisol shot!
Overtired toddlers don’t look sleepy. They look “caffeinated”.
And when this becomes the daily rhythm, babies don’t learn “healthy flexibility” — they learn compensation patterns.
Their brain activates stress hormones to keep them functioning, pushes through sleep pressure, and reorganises energy toward survival rather than growth. It means they’re biologically designed to prioritise short-term coping over long-term flourishing.
Sure, a child can survive late bedtimes, inconsistent routines, and sensory overload. But what gets compromised in the background is the quality of sleep, the consolidation of their memory, and the brain’s opportunity to do its developmental work.
In other words: yes, babies can adjust to almost anything adults create, but adjusting doesn’t mean it’s always good for them.
Children can be incredibly resilient and we should build up on this ability. But resilience shouldn’t be confused with suitability or fitting in adults’ schedule.
Just because a child “manages” doesn’t mean their system is thriving.
It might just mean they’re adapting to a situation they shouldn’t have needed to adjust to in the first place.
The evening chaos problem
There’s a reason sleep specialists talk so much about evenings.
Evening routines are not just “nice rituals” but biological signals.
Light, noise, emotional tone, and stimulation all influence melatonin — the hormone that tells the brain and body it’s time to shut down.
A bright house, loud voices, animated conversations, screens running in the background, siblings wrestling in the living room — are all signals that say: “Stay awake, this party isn’t over.”
And if melatonin doesn’t rise on time, bedtime becomes delayed, falling asleep becomes harder, nights become restless, and mornings become miserable.
Not because babies are difficult. But because their biology is confused.
Environment matters too
Sleep is also shaped by the physical environment children grow up in.
Families living in warmer climates tend to stay active and social later in the evening, which naturally pushes bedtime back. In southern countries, long meals outdoors, noisy streets, and late sunsets can normalize late schedules not just culturally, but environmentally.
Meanwhile, in colder or northern regions, people often stay indoors, use artificial light, and may eat earlier — not because they value sleep more, but because it’s dark, cold, and everyone just wants a blanket.
Add to this seasonal light variation:
Northern countries experience extremely bright evenings in summer, which can delay melatonin and make bedtime a battle, even if parents are trying their best.
So, environment isn’t neutral. It influences behaviour, shapes habits and impacts biology.
But babies don’t care whether you’re in Sicily or Stockholm — their brains still need predictable rhythms, dim evening light, and a wind-down phase that signals safety and rest.
Of course, parents can’t control the temperature or sunset time, but they can control the micro-environment around the child: dim lights, calm energy, reduced noise, and a consistent bonding ritual prior to sleep — regardless of what’s happening outside the window.
This is not about fighting geography. It’s about supporting physiology.
Sleep isn’t just rest — it’s reconstruction
During the first years of life, the brain is doing intense structural work at night. Sleep supports memory, language, attention, emotional regulation, and growth.
Science has proven it that sleep is not a passive state, it’s an active developmental process.
When sleep is constantly shortened or disrupted, the brain doesn’t stop building — it builds on shaky foundations.
There is increasing evidence that early sleep problems are linked with challenges later in childhood, such as attention deficits, emotional instability, impulsivity, and problems with learning.
Again, this doesn’t mean one late night creates a disorder. But patterns matter.
Chronic sleep deprivation makes a big difference. The nervous system remembers.
The Body remembers, too.
Poor sleep in early life doesn’t just affect mood and learning.
It has been associated with changes in appetite, metabolism, and weight regulation.
Children who don’t get enough sleep often crave more energy-dense foods and experience greater metabolic stress which can lead to obesity.
It’s not bad behaviour. It’s physiology trying to compensate.
We often focus more or nutrition and exercise as the main pillars of health, but we don’t realise that SLEEP is the one that makes everything else possible. It holds the whole system together.
Culture is flexible. Biology isn’t.
The hardest truth for many parents is this:
You can negotiate with grandparents, mealtime, schedules, and noise.
You cannot negotiate with melatonin, cortisol, and circadian rhythm.
Babies don’t stay awake because they are “social.”
They stay awake because their environment is telling them to.
And parents often confuse “late bedtime” with “good social integration,” when it’s actually just a misaligned rhythm their child is trying to survive.
The good news? Culture can adapt, just a little — without disappearing.
The truth is that children don’t need total silence.
They don’t need darkness at 6pm.
They don’t need routines worthy of a military handbook.
They simply need a predictable sequence, a calmer environment before sleep, and timing that respects their developmental needs.
How to protect cultural habits & still sleep well
Families don’t need to abandon joy, laughter, connection, or good meals.
Sleep doesn’t have to cancel culture.
But children can’t build healthy brains in constant sensory stimulation.
They can’t regulate emotions, learn new skills, manage impulses, or concentrate when their system is chronically overtired.
So the invitation is not to become rigid. It’s to become intentional and flexible.
To recognise that sleep is not a luxury or a “nice-to-have.” It is a vital pillar of our health.
And the honest truth is: overtired parents don’t need so much scientific information about sleep to understand these side-effects — they need practical support to help their children have a solid sleep foundation from an early age and for them to take are of their relationships within the family.
That’s where Baby Sleep Coaching makes a real difference. By helping families teach babies how to fall asleep independently and link sleep cycles, evenings become calmer, nights become longer, and everyone benefits — not just the child.
Parents get time to rest, reconnect, and rebuild their social life, while also reducing the long-term emotional and metabolic risks associated with chronic sleep deprivation during childhood.
So, please remember that culture can bend, but biology can’t.
And when we respect that balance from an early age on, we give children a solid foundation that makes everything else — including those joyful dinners — a lot nicer.
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Here are a few accessible studies if you want to dive deeper:
- Sleep and behaviour/emotional outcomes in children:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9685105/ - Sleep and metabolic/weight regulation in childhood:
https://www.mdpi.com/2227-9067/12/12/1577 - Sleep architecture and developmental outcomes:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0163638322000339 - Sleep patterns and health consequences in children:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8629036/
If you need more support trying to find the best sleep ryhthm for your baby, book a free Discovery Call below so we can talk about it.