Life after giving birth to a baby –
Three years ago I was so exhausted and grumpy from overtiredness that I did not want to hear about sex anymore.
I was so focused on my baby girl, breastfeeding her, changing her diaper, playing with her, holding, swinging and walking her to sleep that I did not have any lust for anything else. I did not have any time for myself, so how could I make time for another person, be that the father of my baby.
That obviously did not help my relationship with my partner who, despite being full of understanding and patient, was not so happy about the situation.
Soon after this difficult phase I discovered the magical land of baby sleep coaching and that not only gave back my sleep and a happy rested baby, but also saved my relationship with my partner.
Little steps to reframe your relationship
First of all, I understood that it was normal for a mom, 4-6 months after giving birth not to have an outstanding sex appeal or strong romantic feelings. They have been replaced by other biological and hormonal needs directed towards the baby, which is normal and natural.
Then, I embraced another rule of nature stating that…
“Babies cannot thrive without their mothers, but fathers can survive without sex for a while”.
These beliefs made me feel imporant and less guilty or sympathetic towards my partner’s needs.
Communicating all these thoughts and ideas to my partner was also a game changer. We could openly share our needs and desires without necessarily meeting the other one’s expectations. We did not have to, at least for the moment.
Then, I asked for help! I literally begged my partner to come home from work earlier, to help me with the baby, change her diapers, take her outside for a walk in the pram or baby carrier, feed her from the bottle if necessary, cook dinner… so that I could take a breath and have some “me” time for a little while.
And that helped remember my own desires because…
“Nothing turns a woman on like seeing a man nurture her baby”.
How baby sleep coaching helped my relationship
But the real test of fire was going through sleep coaching our baby together. I must be honest, it was not an easy road and it took a while to persuade my partner to be on the same page with me about following an age appropriate routine for our baby, use the same soothing technique in order to teach her to connect sleep cycles and learn how to fall sleep independently.
But it was worth it! Once our baby had consolidated her night sleep and went to bed before 7pm, me and my partner could have quality time together every evening, time for relaxation, for movies, for sex, for work or for any household duties.
Moreover, we all have now a good night sleep, well…most of the time, and wake up full of energy and with a good mood every day. And the smile on our little girl’s face every morning when she sees us in her room, waking her up…that’s priceless. So, it’s definitely a win-win
At the same time, we realised once more how important our relationship as a couple is for the balance and the emotional health of the entire family. So, we dare now take one evening off every week to hire a babysitter and go out, have a date and nourish our love and partnership.
Isn’t that great?
You can have it too, if you are willing to give baby sleep coaching a try. You do not have to wait 2-3 years, sacrifice yourself and your marriage until your baby finally learns how to sleep independently. You can start from an early age and set healthy sleep habits for life.
If you want to find out more about it, just book a free Discovery Call and we can chat.