How to Help your Baby or Toddler Adjust to Kita
The worry every parent experiences
Starting day-care (or Kita, as we call it in Germany) is a huge milestone. For many parents, it comes with excitement… and a little (okay, a lot) of worry.
One of the biggest questions I hear as a sleep consultant is:
“Will my baby ever sleep at day-care the way they do at home?”
If you’re imagining your toddler refusing naps, crying out for mama, or coming home overtired and cranky — you’re not alone. The truth is, sleep at day-care looks different than at home, especially at first. But with the right preparation and mindset, your little one can (and will) adjust.
Home sleep vs. day-care sleep
Here’s something many parents overlook: children know the difference between environments.
- At home, your toddler may need total darkness and white noise.
- At day-care, they may nap on a thin mattress in a bright, buzzing room — and still sleep! (eventually 😉
- At grandparents’ house, the rules might look different again.
And that’s fine. Kids quickly learn that different places have different routines, and they adapt. What you don’t need to do is force your home schedule to match day-care 100%. Keep your routines at home — that consistency is what helps your child recover, recharge, and build resilience.
Why day-care naps are harder (at first)
Let’s be real: day-care is not your darkened nursery with white noise and your familiar wind down ritual. It’s… louder, brighter, and full of distractions. Plus:
- New environment – unfamiliar smells, sounds, and caregivers.
- Group schedule – meals & naps often happen at fixed times, not exactly when your child is hungry or tired.
- Excitement overload – so much to explore, they don’t want to miss a thing.
- Separation & community anxiety – not only the child is no longer with mom every hour of the day, but they have to face new kids and caregivers.
One recent study from 2023 (Drugli, Nystad et al.) measured toddlers’ cortisol levels during the weeks they started in childcare. They found that:
- Stress hormone levels rose significantly in the first weeks after the child started in childcare, especially when the child was separated from parent caregivers.
- By about 3 months after starting, cortisol levels had come down toward baseline (i.e. more similar to home levels), suggesting adaptation over time.
- Parents and caregivers also reported that evenings at home in those early weeks were much harder and children were more tired, clingy, and emotionally drained.
This is a lot for a baby or a young toddler!
But it doesn’t mean day-care sleep is impossible. It just means there’s an adjustment period — and it’s totally normal.
What we can and cannot control
This is a big one: you can’t control what happens inside day-care.
- Educators have their own rules and group routines.
- Most children adapt surprisingly well to those boundaries (because kids do need these boundaries 😉
- But caregivers are not usually open to implementing every parent’s personal sleep plan — and pushing too hard only creates tension.
So instead of fighting a system you can’t change, focus on what you can control:
👉 Your home environment. By following age-appropriate routines and healthy sleep foundations at home, you set your child up to handle the transition at day-care with much more ease.
Parent mindset: your balance is their calm
Here’s a factor many parents underestimate: your own emotional state.
- Children are incredibly sensitive to their parents’ moods. If you’re anxious, tense, or guilty at drop-off, your toddler feels it too.
- If you approach daycare with calm confidence, you send the message: “This is safe. You’ve got this.”
- Consistency in your own behavior (short, loving goodbyes, a smile, no sneaking out) builds trust and helps your child adjust more quickly.
It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being aware that your sturdy energy is one of the most powerful tools you have to ease your child into this new stage.
How to prepare at home, for day-care
- Practice flexibility.
If your baby only naps in total darkness, try one short nap with some light or background noise – the morning nap. It builds adaptability and it prepares your baby for when they’ll have to drop this nap anyway. - Introduce a comfort toy
A small, safe lovey or sleep sack that smells like home and mom 😊 can make day-care naps feel familiar and comforting. - Strengthen the nap ritual.
A short, consistent cue (song, cuddle, phrase like “time to rest”) can work anywhere. Share it with caregivers, but even if they don’t copy it, your child will recognize it. - Play separation-confidence games.
Separation anxiety often peaks around day-care age — and it can affect naps. Simple games teach your child object permanence (the idea that you exist even when you’re out of sight):- Peek-a-boo: the classic “I go away but come back.”
- Hide & return: step out for a few seconds, call out “I’m coming back,” then reappear.
- Hide a toy: cover a toy with a blanket so your child learns things still exist even when hidden.
- Create an early bedtime ritual at home.
During the adjustment period, your child may come home exhausted. This is the time to:- Offer extra bonding & emotional support: reading, bath time, songs, and lots of cuddling together.
- Keep the ritual short, calm, and predictable (15–20 minutes is enough).
- Move bedtime earlier than usual — sometimes by 30–60 minutes. This prevents overtired meltdowns and helps your child recover from shorter day-care naps.
- Keep mornings calm.
A rushed, stressful drop-off makes the day harder. A few unhurried cuddles or playful moments (showing confidence to your child) before day-care can set a much better tone for the day.
Partnering with day-care staff
Talk with caregivers, but keep it simple:
- Share your home routine briefly (no “instruction manual” required).
- Ask about their nap setup and lunch meals so you know what to expect.
- Then trust them. If your child sees you trust the educators, they will be more open to gain their trust as well. Besides, the educators have guided many children through this same adjustment, and most kids surprise us with how well they adapt in a group setting.
What to expect and not expect
In the beginning, you might notice:
- Shorter nap at day-care → overtired afternoons.
- Crankiness at pickup → “connection tank” needs refilling.
- Lack of appetite → hungry & tired = the worse combination!
What helps:
- Earlier bedtime. Don’t hesitate to move bedtime up. An early night is the best remedy for overtiredness.
- Extra bonding. Bedtime is your chance to reconnect after a long day apart. Even 10 minutes of focused, loving interaction can make your child feel secure.
- Consistency at home. Stick to your familiar bedtime ritual — it anchors your child after a stimulating day.
- A good balanced dinner. With a bit of carbs, protein and healthy fats + a lot of patience & creativity. This will help kids manage longer stretches of sleep at night.
The long view
The adjustment phase usually takes a few weeks (or sometimes months) and that’s OKAY. Once settled, many children nap surprisingly well in day-care. Peer influence is powerful — when everyone lies down, most toddlers follow along. And often, night sleep improves too because of the consistent daily rhythm.
But we also need to tank them up really well in the morning, late in the afternoon and before bedtime with mom & dad quality time, if we want our kids to sleep well at night.
Final thoughts
Day-care sleep will never look exactly like home sleep — and that’s fine. Children learn to handle different rules in different places and this makes them resilient. What matters most is that home remains the steady anchor.
So instead of stressing over what’s out of your hands at day-care, focus on what you can do: follow age-appropriate routines, playful bonding, separation-confidence games, offer balanced nutrition, and a soothing early bedtime ritual at home. With that foundation, your child is much more likely to adapt smoothly — and you can finally breathe easier knowing you will be able to have some #metime or #worktime while your little one learns new stuff at Kita.
Because a child with independent sleep skills who has learned how to connect sleep cycles even before they started Kita will adapt much easier in any new environment.
And even if you can’t control everything… you can create the conditions for your little one to thrive.
If daycare sleep feels overwhelming right now, you don’t have to figure it out alone. I’ve helped many families build strong sleep foundations at home so their little ones adapt more smoothly to big changes like Kita.
Book a Free Discovery Call today, and let’s talk about how we can make your family’s days (and nights) calmer.